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Name: ummhi
Country: United States
State: New Mexico
Metro: Santa Fe
Gender: Female


Interests: Music, playin games sometimes... Uh, other things.. and ch'yeah
Occupation: Student


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AIM: my105tdr34m5


Member Since: 6/27/2003

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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

again i havent written in here in for-fuckin-ever! i just really felt the need to right now.. i dont have anything else to do so why the fuck not?
well im a rave girl now.. been a rave chick since 420 thanks to ms. amy t. She's pretty much my partner in crime now.. dont really talk to anyone i used to.. its all a new crew now, the thizz crew. well, not even really anymore.. i already went thru my thizz crew :( i miss the originals a lot yo... i miss just going to rancho and kickin at red's pad. it was our thizz house to the fullest.. theres so many good vibes in that garage man.. i just miss it all. my poor brain.. it prolly has many holes in it from all the thizz.. oh well, thizz is what it iz, and i love to thizz!!

so this weekend we went to a rave. gabe rea was there.. its was so nice to party with him again, it'd been soo long! it didn't turn out like the night i thought it was gonna be.. it was supposed to be a fun thizz crew night but i turned into hell for me. it's all mam thizz's fault too. she fuckin instigated that me and gabe rea were gonna hook up or something.. its not my fault that i have his back..it was just his turn to have my back and he did.. he hooked it up with some free thizzies and they all freaked out! i know that even looks bad cuz thats what you do when you wanna hook up.. he just gives you those looks and you cant resist him yo.. i really missed gabe rea a lot and this made me realize that.. i really od like gabe rea.. we just have this weird connection, its crazy.. we just seem to vibe off each other. she fucked it all up, we coulda had something lovely.. but maybe not. it coulda all turned weird like things tend to.. oh well. whatever ma!

I miss the old thizz days something fierce!!! I just wanna go back in time and fix a lot of things that went wrong with our crew... I ♥ Gabe Rea!!


Tuesday, February 20, 2007

wow i havent written in here in a grip! Um Che got caught slanging not too long ago. I think Jerome is toyin with me like he knows how.. I like to drink.. I'm a part of a chick mafia group.. its a drunk thing. I'm most likely going to be moving in with Melissa and Jacque. My birthday is in less than a month.. I need to lose weight, like huge! I need to just have that.. like nothing before. I just want to really feel beautiful and for it to be true.. I have a huge goal that I need to make.. I dont know what else to say.. I just hadn't written in a long ass time and felt the want to. Later days.


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Ok, so I've put this off for far too long already, not really but yeah. So I finally saw Jerome last wednesday. It was a mission and a half that day too. ....... I'll continue later. I'm way distracted right now.


um, i liked this. stole it from someone. its true in some aspects..

Oh, so your craving food right now, huh?

What do you think you are doing?

Don't you dare go anywhere near food!

Don't touch it; don't even think about it.

What do you want to do, become a fat cow?

I am your best friend, and if you eat, you are failing me and letting me down.

If you eat right it shows what little self-control you have.

That pain in your stomach right now, that is me, and that is your fat melting away.

When you feel empty, it means you are empty of your sins.

Summer is coming up.

You want to be able to walk around in booty shorts and a bikini top, don't you?

You want to walk around in a bikini with your flat, firm little stomach and your toned little thighs.

You want to be able to run your hand over your stomach and feel your ribs.

You want to go to the mall and see that skimpy outfit and know you would look damn good in it.

You made a commitment to me.

I am your life and obsession.

Don't break what we have.

I will give you everything you want, but you have to give me what I want.

And I want you to stay away from food.

Go have some water.

Go drink some tea or coffee.

Or better yet - go to the gym, fatty!

Don't show me what little self-control you have.

Don't defy me.

You know that if you go eat right now, you will end up on your knees puking it all up until you see blood and water and your stomach is aching.

You will regret eating as soon as those calories and that fat slip past your tonsils and down into your body to add to that extra roll on your stomach.

You are going to get cellulite.

You are going to look like the typical fat soccer mom.

I can give you so much - I can give you a great body.

Show me your control and I will show you a flat stomach.

Show me you love me and can keep me a secret and stay away from food and I'll give you those shaped little thighs.

Show me you can run until you drop and I will give you a cute ass.

You love me.

If you eat now and throw away what you are working for, I will hate you.

And you will hate yourself.

You have a meal plan; you have goals and dreams.

Don't throw that all away now.

Don't give up what you really want for something you want now.

Don't eat fatty.

You are still no supermodel like Kate Moss.

Don't fail me. Don't eat.

You're at a pro-ana site. I guess that means you think you're fat or something. Well, guess what?*DING!DING!DING!*

You're right! You're disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

Feel your stomach. Feel the rolls of flab, the jiggling mass....

Look at all the gorgeous models and actresses on TV. See any rolls? HELL no! These girls are THIN, baby!

They don't know what it's like to step on a scale and break the damn thing.

They don't have to wear size XXL! They're THIN!

Yeah, and you're not. You're despicable. Absolutely nasty. You're a fat motherfucking cow. PUT DOWN THAT FOOD! Don't you even DARE think of putting it in your mouth!

You'll feel it slide right to your hips, your thighs. You're already bulging out of your pants.

You don't need any more food, all it's gonna do is make you fatter.

You're already a whale, a hippo, a fat ass.

You are gross, no member of the opposite sex would even THINK of liking you because you won't fit through their front door. You'll crack their floors and smash their bed to smithereens.

You're so disgusting! Have you ever seen people looking at you? With disgust? It's true. They're wishing that they'll never EVER have to look as bad as you. They're watching you scarf down your food and thinking, "Look at that person! What a terrible lack of self-control!"

And it's true. And you call yourself ana! You're not true rexie.

You're FAT!FAT!FAT!FAT! What a terrible word, an ugly horrible word. Too bad it's the truth. Too bad you're fat. A blimp. A monstrosity.

You want to wear those cute new clothes?

Haha, not with THAT stomach! Or THOSE legs!

Sure, they look good on models, but honey, you're FAT. Fat people wear tent dresses and ugly shoes. Fat people can't wear cute clothes because they can't look good in them. Fat people have no control and eat everything they see.

You want to live like that? Live the rest of your life lumbering around, too big for airline seats, too big for cars, too big to ever get yourself a spouse and live happily ever after?

No fairy tale for you, dearie.

You're a bucket of lard, a complete disgrace to the name ana.

You'll never be skinny.

NEVER. Unless you PUT DOWN THAT FOOD, get your lazy ass up and EXERCISE!

Go run! Do jumping jacks! Do sit-ups! And fast fast fast!

No eating for someone like you.

You're ugly and gross and FAT! Remember that....




Sunday, December 03, 2006

So I've pretty much been on a party binge like crazy. It started off from Thanksgiving and its been in effect since. I've been smoking and drinkin practically everyday. I've been chilling with Cede and the whole crew of boys. Its Daniel, Jr, Chris, Marcus, Jared, Trevor, and little Daniel a couple times. It's been pretty entertaining to say the least. Nah, it's been pretty cool actually. I havent hung out with Dan G, Jr, and Chris in a grip. I seriously love those kids, I don't know why we never hung out more. Daniel really has my attention right now, I really ♥ that one. Ha theres like an order of who you would wanna bone with these guys.

Haha I dont know whats with me and younger boys right now. Lilttle sexy Joseph wanted to bone when he was all drunk and I would've... He's so hott.. The shitty thing was I looked like crap that night and all. We were drunk and stoned as fuck that night. All the little ones were all talking about wanting to bone me and shit, that or getting head. Aw and Trevor isnt a baby anymore either, he lost it that night, que cute. Oh and then the next night we went back to trevors and I actually looked good. It was cede, jr, lil d, me, baby joe; a grip of ppl. I hear baby joe tell lil d "if your a brother you'll hit that hard and then tell her to save some for me", yeah that was completely directed at me. I really want baby joe.. hard. I just need to get some dude, its been a grip.

All guys are pervs, they just want sex or head from you. None of them have really asked me but they've told cede or j shit about me. Marcus and little d wanted to try something that night they were tripping balls and I stayed the night at their house. I just chilled that night. I was all lovey with chris so he'd smoke one but then he just gave me a nug later that night. Then Dan G came home and was still tripping and he wanted to sit next to me. His little cuz asked if I was his chick and he was all yeaah. it was cute even tho i know he was just tripping. He likes to mess with me and I like it. Being with these boys has really helped with Jeff. He still texts cede like mad but I really dont care anymore.. I've been kicking it with her so much lately. I'm good with the situation now, i just need to get some soon.

Lets see how my life comes together  within this next month. I need to shape up and pass this shit. I need to catch up in chem in govt really bad. I just need to start doing the work.. thats all it really is, im just a lazy bitch who wants to get high. i havent been doing my work for those classes at all. im slackin with everything, it just sucks balls. well I have nothing else for right now. later days



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